Swerving

[michaelboy]

Even though I'm vegetarian, I went hunting once in my life. I was 14
when a friend loaned me a 20-gauge shotgun and we went off into the woods rabbit hunting. I didn't even shoot the gun and I was even caught by a game warden for hunting without a license.

* * *

I remember being about 12 and spending the night at my grandmother's house (at 204 South Marietta St.) when two college-aged women knocked at her door. They had hit a rabbit and wondered if we could help. The rabbit's back was completely skinned - exposing all of its muscle tissue. The two wondered if we had an axe or something else to end its life. I went to the basement and found a hatchet. Out by the sidewalk, i half-heartedly struck the rabbit. It made a horribly loud screaming noise and I just couldn't do any more. I went in the house feeling sick and I don't even remember if the two women were able to end its suffering. It's been so long, but it has always been an ongoing dilemma for me. In some ways I felt weak/cowardly for not being able to put that rabbit out of its misery (as it is termed) but I also wonder if it was even my place to do such a thing.

* * *


Traveling through the dark

< small>Traveling through the dark I found a deer
dead on the edge of the Wilson River road.
It is usually best to roll them into the canyon:
that road is narrow; to swerve might make more dead.

By glow of the tail-light I stumbled back of the car
and stood by the heap, a doe, a recent killing;
she had stiffened already, almost cold.
I dragged her off; she was large in the belly.

My fingers touching her side brought me the reason—
her side was warm; her fawn lay there waiting,
alive, still, never to be born.
Beside that mountain road I hesitated.

The car aimed ahead its lowered parking lights;
under the hood purred the steady engine.
I stood in the glare of the warm exhaust turning red;
around our group I could hear the wilderness listen.

I thought hard for us all—my only swerving—,
then pushed her over the edge into the river.

~William Stafford