In a Small Corner of the Yard and Mind

[michaelboy]

Up near the apple tree, where my dad hung a rope swing, was the sandbox he made for us. It was rather simple and rough - just four 2 x 10’s nailed together and then filled with brown building sand from the local lumber company. While we didn’t have many toys, I remember a metal Tonka road grader that my mom purchased second-hand at the swap-shop in town. It was one of my favorites and while I can never bring it back, I miss it and still would love to "grade" a road or two.

Near the sandbox was the standing trunk of a rotting tree. One day I decided it would be fun to throw a few firecrackers in a small round hole in the side of the tree...but with that I unknowingly killed an entire nest of altricial woodpeckers. As well, I know I can’t bring them back either.

There are many things we must settle solely in the silence of our hearts.

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Comments

[wayfaringwordhack]

Good morning. Thank you for this glimpse into your childhood. I remember others having and playing with Tonka toys when I was small, but I never had one of my own. We were visiting the States when my daughter turned 4, so I bought her a Tonka dump truck. We lived in an apartment in Egypt at the time, so she didn't use it much in the way I envisaged her playing with it. Even when the boys came along and we faithfully moved the dump truck to France with us, it wasn't part of their play the way it was for the kids in my childhood memories. I remember feeling sad that my attempt at giving them something I wanted as a kid did not spark as much delight in them. Thankfully that soon passed as I realized that my journey, with its deprivations in all their forms, was not my kids' journey. And I'll just stop there with that because it would get long and waffly.

As for the woodpeckers, my heart hurts for you that you have to carry this memory. So many of us have these regrets that we must, as you say, settle in the silence of our own hearts.

[michaelboy]

Thank you for this and... Long and waffly is always welcome here.

[ofearthandstars]

It is difficult to move through the world in ways that create no harm at all; especially as children.

[michaelboy]

It certainly is how we learn.

[tactilemuse]

I was just listening to this post (in door) bike ride this morning. Echoes of a yesteryear for sure.

[michaelboy]

It's been a minute or so ;)

[mallorys_camera]

When I was nine or so, I killed a kitten by mistake. It haunts me still.

Back then, I really didn't know about acts and consequences.

[michaelboy]

Oh my, that would be particularly difficult.

[mallorys_camera]

I honestly did not understand I was playing too rough.