A ridiculously long sentence fragment with an unstated conclusion

[michaelboy]

And for all the times as a boy that I rejected what I knew was right and for all the family holiday dinners that seemed so much less important than they really were and all the friends that I treated cruelly, and for my children when I wasn’t really that great of a single parent, and for the relationships that were less than healthy, and for the times I ignored my friends and for the days when I brought my work home when I should have been paying more attention to my family, and for the nickel of milk money that I took out of Sharon’s desk in the 3rd grade, and for stupid argument I had with my wife in Penn Station and for the way I made fun of people and for the deck of playing cards that I stole from Loo’s Pharmacy and for the cars that I vandalized with spray paint when I was ten and for the times of being so angry about cancer that I lost my patience and kindness, and for the days that I just didn’t feel like going to the VA Hospital to see my dad, and for all the returnable soda bottles I stole from the back of the Hudson to cash in at two cents each, and for a list
that could run on forever...

Comments

[smoothbores]

Honestly, I'm tempted to comment on every one of your posts, but you're so sensitive and vulnerable, kind and devoted, that I'm simply afraid to touch a nerve (inadvertently, of course!).
What I can always say sincerely is that I'm glad you're my Friend.
Honestly.

[michaelboy]

Oh! Thank you so much my most mysterious Dreamwidth friend.

If you ever feel so moved, your comments are always welcome here and give me a much better perspective on ME...which I need, beyond even want.

Respectfully, I'm so very happy you consider me your friend. I am honored.

[serafaery]

It’s so interesting, I logged on here at 3am because I woke up composing a reply to your most recent of countless thoughtful, helpful comments, and felt such a strong need to tell you before I went back to sleep how much it meant to me, that you wanted to show me comfort and grace when I was spinning out about feeling unworthy, especially because I see you as wiser and kinder than I am, more than most anyone I know, and in times when I feel lost or drowning in my own regret for my mistakes, and kind of gross self centered self loathing, the fact that you can see past my flaws to something valuable means so much to me, and I’m so grateful that someone like you cares or even bothers with someone like me who emotionally flails and stumbles so often, who must look so childish and self centered from the outside. But to be human is to pass through childhood and phases of not knowing any better, and gathering info as we go to try to rebuild ourselves into something kinder and wiser, and I feel like you do that better than most. You inspire me every day to try to be a better person, a more mature and considerate and thoughtful person, because seeing these aspects in you makes humanity seem like it has qualities that are beautiful and good and worth pursuing. So, to come and find this very vulnerable and egoless post about all the things you wish hadn’t been, it’s just so comforting, because I have these kinds of thoughts plaguing me too, every day, maybe all of us do, but somehow this makes your efforts seem even more meaningful and important. The mistakes I’m still making that I know I’ll regret are the hardest right now, and feeling too weak to overcome the distraction and pain of struggling to heal from a surgery I probably shouldn’t have had. Thank you for the reminder that being flawed does not cancel out the good aspects of who we keep striving to be.

[michaelboy]

Wow! This is making feel teary-eyed.

You say I'm kind but I have just as many shortcomings as anyone.

I truly adore you for your heart and your willingness to share your vulnerability and weaknesses. It makes you beautiful. So there!

Kind? Maybe pick up a mirror and see the quality that is one of the biggest reasons you are more than worthy of a good and happy life.

Thank you just seems so inadequate for me to say to such a wonderful gal.

[mallorys_camera]

You write such beautiful things.

And, of course, I want to know the stories behind them. But I always feel it would be rude to ask. 😀

[michaelboy]

Well thank you for thinking so...especially coming from one who has such a mastery of writing.

Asking, would NEVER be rude.