michaelboy

Going to take it easy the rest of the night - got my orders out but still cramping, just want to rest.

My head is spinning with chores I want to do over the next three days before Josh gets home. So, just making a list for myself. I can organize/prioritize later :)

* dust everything
* launder everything
* change bedding on my bed and futon
* check for backup kitty litter box
* buy new kitty litter and venison for Avalanche
* sweep floors
* put away extra sparkle work items that are strewn about (sort and store in basement)
* sort and throw away/put away stuff under desk
* sort and put away/throw away random stuff on closet floor
* sort/throw away random stuff on desk
* sort/throw away old lotions/medications/etc. in bathroom
* replace shower curtain liner
* mop floors
* clean surfaces (tables/desks/shelves/appliances)
* wipe out inside of fridge
* wipe out inside of kitchen cabinets (top ones with food and cups)
* wipe off top of fridge
* dishes (obviously)
* clean mirrors and windows
* roll couch cushions
* replenish lint rollers
* sort/throw away old cat toys
* sort/throw away old cat supplies in kitty cabinet
* bleach out sinks and tub
* wash cabinet handles and doors/door frames/light switches
* sort/throw away stuff in large kitchen cabinet

It's going to be like a new apartment in here if I actually do all of this, lol.

I'd be really happy with half! :)

serafaery

aaauuugghhhhhh, bleeding.

blaming the moon for this one ;)

serafaery

work day is over already, so grateful. despite the lack of income. i'm tired and thrilled to get an unplanned rest, especially while Josh is away so the apartment is empty, just me and avalanche. I found her curled up on my sleeping spot in my unmade bed when I got home, sound asleep. I startled her as I usually come home much later.

tummy is starting to calm down. I think it might be pms, along with food disagreements, we'll see. I had a little bit of salmon after an earlier spoonful of plain greek yogurt, a banana, an apple, and a few cashews.

Working on a lovely afternoon cup of coffee.

Natasha wants to visit and bring the three kitties! Avalanche's mom and dad (now fixed), plus adopted little brother (unaltered, I believe, but very calm, and Avalanche is also spayed so all good). I am excite!

This is also really good motivation to use this unplanned vacation time to clean the apartment! I am already in declutter mode, having recently fallen in love with a house that is for sale. This will help light a fire under me. It'll be so nice for Josh, too, to come home to a sparkling place. It's soooooooooo much easier for me to clean when he is not here. It'll be lovely. I hope I can maintain motivation. I'll put silly 90s/2000s movies on in the background maybe, or audiobooks, or dance music, whatever I need.

Need to get a couple of orders out before the post office closes, nice excuse for a bike ride on this soft mostly-overcast day. I'm so glad I got my flat fixed. New leveling up in not avoiding hard things. I'm getting stronger, at least in some ways.

Taking a dear friend to the airport tomorrow morning. I'll take Josh's car, it's easier and more comfortable and I filled the tank recently. Tyler kindly filled my tank yesterday also on the way to the mountain, we did Dog yesterday together, it was wonderful, warm and windy and perfect, he has been unbelievably kind, supportive, and loving lately; he is always so but this is extra much, just over-the-top wonderful. I will love him to the ends of the earth. Come what may.

katriona_s

Today I left Hokkaido in the middle of the afternoon, took the airplane flying back to Yokohama. Quite unfortunately, around Tokyo or Yokohama there are many rain clouds, sudden strong rain and thunderbolt late in the afternoon and evening. So they can’t do many jobs in the airport, the result is that many passengers have to just wait in the planes. Yes now I’m in the airplane which has landed over an hour ago :(. Outside of the plane it’s raining with thunderbolts . We are just waiting for the weather will get better. This is no-one’s fault, so no passenger complain. No idea how many airplanes are in the same situation. Still …I’m tired and hungry. Now it’s 7:45 and I should have come home and have supper now X( And tomorrow I have to go to the office. My trip was wonderful but the ending is far from wonderful…

katriona_s

Today I enjoyed cycling on the hill and in he woods. Again I went with the local guide. It’s been almost 9 years? since I rode a bicycle last time so I have been a bit nervous but soon after we started I could remember how to ride X) The route was on the hill, up and down, with tranquil and beautiful view of green fields, woods, blue sky and white clouds… it was a nice cycling! After 2 hour cycling I visited the small local aquarium ad other interesting place, and in the evening I again feel comfortably tired. I’m really fortunate on this trip, the weather was fine - very warm but the wind was comfortable.

serafaery

Today was really nice. Tuesdays are my Saturday. I try to use them to relax and catch up on chores, but I failed in that category today, oops. Hoping I'll have time this weekend due to the forced vacation. I do still want to henna my hair in the morning, I'll get up early and do that, and sweeping would be wonderful too, and cleaning the kitchen. Tyler wants to hike Dog so we'll see if I can get that all done before 11am ha - maybe two of the three?

Today I did some very timid silxing, and lots of PT at the gym, I think I want to buy a hula hoop? Doing it gave me heart palpitations today which was frankly a bit scary, it's only the second time I've ever felt them - the first was after swimming way too hard, about a year ago? It's another super fun perimenopause symptom, wheeeee. The hula hoop is not very strenuous so I'm not sure why it triggered that.

I considered paddle boarding but decided I didn't want to drive all the way to the mountain, so I elected to do a bike ride instead. It took a lot of prep and procrastination to get out the door, only to realize I had a flat.

So, I decided to go soaking instead.

I was the only one there! It was utter blissssssssssssssss. Really nice consolation prize.

The sun was hot but I was in the shade. The warm water was soothing. The sky was so blue. I soaked in the sun on the bench for a bit, took a couple cool misty showers, saved a ladybug and a large wasp from the water - unsure if the wasp was paper or dirt dauber but it was beautiful. I love wasps. (It helps that I've never been stung by any, save yellowjackets, whom I respect but do not have affection for lol.) A honey bee buzzed me - they are always hanging around the pool, as they attracted to the salts in the water. I felt its wings blow on the hairs on my skin but it chose not to land on me. I said hello gently. I love bees. I've been stung by honey bees but it was never their fault.

Once I was home and fed and rested, I realized I could easily put my bike in Josh's car and go get my tire fixed. And that I should do so asap, since biking is my easiest form of cardio since I can't run anymore and hiking mountains takes so much time, I can only do it once a week. So I did that. Super easy, the bike shop Josh took me to recently, Metropolis, is really nice. They helped me quickly and easily for barely anything and fixed my brakes, too. Bikes are wonderful. Bike shops are magic.

Picked up some groceries on the way home and filled Josh's tank, and then decided to do an evening bike ride up to rocky butte.

It was blisssssssssssssssssss. Cooler as I didn't start riding until 7:30pm. On the way home I got to watch the overheated clouds turn from whipped cream texture to colorful cotton candy.

Tyler alerted me to the moon rise, via text, after I got home.

I finished my veggies from yesterday with an avocado and rosemary gifted from our neighbors who just left for Europe - I am charged with watering their plants. And eating their herbs and avocados.

Watched the 2nd pirates movie with Avalanche, after my bike ride, while indulging in forbidden peanut butter with blackberries again. I forgot how silly that one was. I mean, they're all very silly. But the level of silliness steadily increases with each movie. Until On Stranger Tides honestly, I think that movie holds up the best of the sequels. Maybe I am just partial to feisty mermaids.

I like this one because Jack and Lizzie kiss in it. Only whilst trying to deceive one another. But still. Fun to watch. I like Johnny Depp, still; idc if he doesn't know how to adult in relationships with supermodels. It's not his fault society conditions us these ways. I wish he'd gotten the emotional support he needed when he was young. But I'm still grateful for his art, eternally.

A scary looking person at the gas station asked me for a dollar while digging through trash and cursing to himself, and then when I declined, called me a series of expletives and said he hoped I got in a car accident. In the past, something like that might have bothered me for a long time. I am so conditioned to our city being like this that I only felt a pang of pity and confirmation that I made the right choice saying no, that it is okay to not help people who seem threatening. I was alone and no one else was within eyesight, I did not want to get any closer to this person than I already was.

I try not to let them bleed me, but I do give handouts on occasion, when it feels right. That one didn't.

Collision. Most collisions are preventable. The term "accident" is a misnomer. They are not natural disasters. They are human-caused.

It's 1am whoops! I'm not used to watching movies ha. It's still very warm, but tomorrow will be cooler. I am so glad Tyler wants to hike with me. I'm happy on the mountain alone, but much happier with him.

I still have a week left to go without Josh! He's been messaging a lot. He's having fun, I am so glad. I am hanging in there.

Those of us with cPTSD have chronic nightmares, but the last two nights I've had really happy dreams. Filled with friends and love and laughter and exuberant joy. I wonder what that's about. More, please.

katriona_s

I’m now on my summer trip to Hokkaido, the northern big island, and staying in Wakkanai, the Japanese northernmost city. Today I have kayaked on a small river, then walked in the wilderness with the local guide. It’s fine and hot, frankly too hot for Wakkanai. But compared to the summer heat in Yokohama, it’s not the problem at all, and first of all here the humidity is not very high. I enjoyed the activities very much. But I’ve done all of them under the sunshine… now at 23:00 I’m very tired and need to go to bed. Of course this is the good tiredness :)

weepingcrab

the roar of a plane, “pineapple cake!” i want to whisper into the microphone. most days i lay in the same curled up fetal position, on top of my bed but not under it. most nights i fall asleep with hot tears rolling down my apple cheeks, staining the gray satin pillowcase.

it’s disturbingly easy. i tell him i want to be with him forever in one breath and in the next i consume dubai chocolate through a screen.

copy paste my life!!!!! :/

my legs were covered in bruises when i got back from new york. i bruise easily. i told my mom i was covered in bruises. i wondered if my mom bruised easily from sex too, if she once had legs covered in bruises, and wondered herself if sex was the cause of mine.

some guy on reddit said to be more patient. some guy on reddit said that men will never change. some guy on reddit said that you felt nothing before you were alive, so you’ll feel the same nothingness after you die. some guy on reddit said to use a lot of spit and look him in the eyes. some guy on reddit said if you’re making endless personal concessions you might have abandonment issues.

i am allegiant to your cruelty; yet my hardened heart, it still gushes rivers. not all beauty leads to god. i am a slave to my desire. will you kiss me on your way out?

isopod care instructions: attention, attention, and more attention. substrate is necessary. be careful; if you leave them unattended, they will proliferate exponentially.

i had lost my appetite; the butterflies turned sour. yellow cocoons of benjamin’s silkworms, spoiled milk turned into moths, the butterfly’s ugly cousin. we raised them every year until it got old.

can you kiss me while i cry scorched earth rains? for a long time i stood with your kiss upon my brow, but that way lay madness–i never could replace the emptiness you left me with, stumbled by the doorstep where your shoes would lie.

it is the 18th day of summer, or so i calculated. i once again neglected to feel the sun on my skin, but in the shower i noticed my legs seemed a darker shade of brown than usual.

these are not fire-breathing butterflies; they are cicadas crawling around in my chest, a deep rumble, waiting to emerge.

serafaery

I miss all the cats who've been kind enough to associate with me. Many I have had deep, unforgettable bonds with. I think of them often. New Cat was my best friend for a long time. Willow came after her. Willow watched me become an adult and I was heartbroken for years over losing her. Then P-Funk, Darwin, and Lunar, my three little black old men cats.

Today, and lately, I've been missing Darwin the most. Darwin was rescued five weeks after P-Funk's death. He was a 20 year old cat who had been surrendered mysteriously, and I had just lost a 20 year old cat, and felt I had the room and capacity to give this one a good home.

Darwin is really the one who rescued me. Within a couple weeks he was out of his shell and so energetic that I double checked his age with the shelter, who sent me to the hospital he had been surrendered to, who confirmed that he was in fact 21. !!!

I had him until three weeks before his 23rd birthday. He was healthy, happy, and content for almost the entire time.

Darwin was mostly deaf, and would sometimes howl at the top of his lungs to hear himself, which I found hilarious.

He was the sort of cat who would daintily tap his paw on a leg - anyone's leg - to be asked to be lifted into a lap, as his legs were too arthritic to jump. He loved to snuggle into laps or sunbeams. He had a particular position he wanted to snuggle in under my arm every night, and if he came to bed and I was not in the right place, he would tap my shoulder with his paw until I rolled over and offered the crook of my arm for him to snuggle into.

There were a few small things that went wrong toward the end of his life, but for the most part, the entire time with him was absolute delight. He seemed so content and relaxed. Nothing ruffled his feathers. He seemed grateful for every moment. The week before his death he was still gently chasing cabbage moths in the grass. He was best friends with a neighbor cat who would come for walks with us nightly. Chester, a huge orange tabby, absolutely adored Darwin and would wait on our porch for him. (I always went with him, he did not go outside unsupervised.)

Darwin had the most peaceful death imaginable, at a vet he loved, surrounded in love and gentleness.

Sigh.

I don't believe in the afterlife or other woo-woo things, but I got what felt like messages from him afterward, signs of different sorts from different places, in the form of art and music, that said we had known each other before and we would meet again. I resonate with identification as a star-seed, even though I don't believe in reincarnation or "oversouls" or anything like that, something about the starseed identification feels true in a way I don't understand. Similarly, I got messages that Darwin was also a starseed. It never occurred to me consciously that animals could also be starseeds, but of course they can - anything can be a star-seed. Technically we all come from star-stuff anyway.

So whenever a starseed message comes to me, I think of Darwin, and I miss him. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to think of him. There is a mystery there I don't understand. And I'm grateful for that connection.

serafaery

Josh called me this morning from Chamonix and talked my ear off. He's a sweetie. It looks so beautiful and he's enjoying it immensely. He is learning why everyone was reassuring him that it would be easy, relative to his past travels to places like Ethiopia, Panama, and Nepal.

Had a rough night last night, I slept poorly - my upstairs neighbor is constantly dropping things on their floor in the middle of the night. I am afraid to say anything because it could be worse, but I hate it and it bothers me every night. They wake up from the fireworks or the resident campers yelling at each other just outside our windows, and then I have to wait for them to quit thumping around right above my head before I can go back to sleep. The upstairs neighbor is a young person with a drug problem so it figures they don't sleep well, and get up and stomp around anytime anything wakes them up.

I think this is why I got a migraine when I finished work, today. I ate junk food for the first time since I started tracking my food last week, and with each peanut butter pretzel, I felt my headache decrease. I really do use food as a pain reliever.

Work itself was lovely, aside from the a/c not being able to quite keep up with the warmth outside. I will get an earlier start tomorrow on keeping the building cool so it should be better conditions tomorrow. I hope.

Took a nap when I got home, head still hurts but I feel a little better.

Avalanche has been glued to me since Josh left. I think it makes her nervous to not have her dad around.

When I went to take a nap, she curled up with me on the bed.

When I got up and had avocado and peanut butter with blackberries, she curled up on a chair next to me at the table.

While I am typing now, she is on my lap purring up a storm and staring at me with slow-blink sleepy happy smiley eyes.

peanut butter with berries is one of my favorite treats (avocado is technically a berry! I also love peanut butter with apples or bananas, or yogurt or oatmeal or toast or pretty much anything lol), and something I can't have when Josh is here because he is violently allergic to peanuts.

I am stopping a lot to pet my cat :)

It's a beautiful day, low 80s, tomorrow and the next few days will be closer to 90 so I'm enjoying this as much as I can with this headache. I need to rest up and recover, tomorrow is going to be a long work day.

...

Unsure what to do with my night, I am afraid to move much with the lingering headache issue. Might just stay still and eat more peanut butter and watch Clueless or something equally comforting.

...

I was reminded recently of an interaction with a new sparkler at my studio. It was funny. This was a young person (maybe late 20s), with a very unique flowy haircut, wearing swirly goddess-esque hand made jewelry and earthy flowy clothing, her name was not Onyx or Jade but some sort of precious stone - she had tattoos that looked like a cross between tribal and fairy markings - she was soft spoken and talked about the world and others in a kind of blend of universal love with a mild amount of impatience at the pettiness of things in general - and she was explaining to me that the person who told her to come see me for sparkles had explained to her that I was a fairy and that "Sera is Your People," and she was sooooooooooo curious as to what about her could possibly indicate that she and I were in any way similar or The Same Kind Of People. Like, she was completely baffled.

If she were in a plain pencil skirt and smelled like Chanel, or was in a tee shirt with a brand name on it and flip flops, had manicured nails and carried in a plastic cup of Dutch Bros and talked about the last cruise she went on, and had bleached straightened hair, I would understand the confusion. But...., come on, Opal. You don't see the resemblance?

(Her name wasn't Opal, just using this to give the gist.)

It reminded me of a time in grad school when I had asked a classmate, who was male but also wore swirly hand-made jewelry and earthy layered clothes and corduroy, talked in an airy aloof way, had longish hair a certain amount of casual facial hair, thick rimmed glasses, and a soft voice, what it could possibly be about him that made me think that he might know where I could get weed. (Long story, someone had asked me if I could get some for a party they wanted to throw and I said I'd ask around - I was never a pot smoker myself.) He was just sooooo perplexed and baffled and told me that he did everything in his power to "appear neutral" and couldn't understand what about him could possibly indicate that he, and not the white button-down shirt and blue jeans wearing classmates I had who wore their hair short and spoke in matter of fact arrogance with a tinge of humor (required for graduate school in philosophy) would know where the weed was. Like, he was so insistent that he was "neutral." And he was so obviously not, as far as I could tell anyway. Like, my first thought was "hippie kid" when I saw him. I feel like Opal has a similar view of herself as looking totally "normal" and it's just so funny to me, how skewed ones concept of how they appear to others can be.

I can only imagine how I look from the outside, lol. At least I'm doing it intentionally. (If I ever look "normal" to anyone it is a total accident and entirely unintentional and I'm so sorry if I ever gave that impression :D )

katriona_s

It’s hot and humid. Last night I turned off the air conditioner just before going to bed, and opened the window (just a bit). Though I found it’s rather uncomfortable, soon I would need to turn on the air conditioner all night - I don’t like it. But this morning, around 7am it’s almost 30°C, I should use the air conditioner for my rabbit :(

Only some plants are lively in this summer heat, for example the bitter melon.

glassy_witch

...you know...that's not all that easy to answer. I'm not sure I ever have managed to answer that one satisfactorily. Not sure I ever will, either.

In fact, I am not even sure I understand the question.

I am...the sum of my experiences?

I am the offspring of my parents?

I am...a right royal pain in the backside for a lot of people, no doubt.

Am I supposed to say my age and what I do for a job?

Does anyone care which current gender norms I fit into?

Am I meant to proclaim any political, religious, or sporting team affiliations?

I've been thinking about that question a lot lately. It's a fairly common "icebreaker" one in job interviews, and more and more I see people telling me that to sell my glass, I need to "tell people your story".

Uhm.

I'm really not so sure about that.

I've found that being blisteringly honest about things is NOT what people want - lesson learnt after one interview years ago, when asked about a four month gap in my CV. My initial reply of "I realised I needed a bit of a break to get myself back on track" was deemed insufficient, but then it was clearly too much when "had a bit of a breakdown after my niece and nephew were murdered by their dad" kinda derailed the entire interview.

And the sad truth is, a lot of who I am is still tied to that horrible time. I used to be fearless - and I mean that. I would take off and try new things, meet people, put myself so far out of any comfort zone I nearly circled all the way back round. After? I played it so safe as to lock myself in a cage and never expect anything more than the bare minimum of anyone or anything.

But one thing that has stayed consistent throughout, is that I loathe bullies. And I find the wilfully ignorant utterly infuriating. I am one of those odd creatures who believes that tolerance is a wonderful thing, but I also end up being a hypocrite in some ways because I *won't* tolerate hateful, deceitful individuals, and I will cheerfully tell those I believe are being intentionally blind to the toxic behaviour of those they admire that they are just as shitty as their hero.

So I guess I'm a bunch of contradictions walking around, trying to find decent people to spend time with, while cheerfully suggesting to shitty people that they go find a nice short pier to take a long walk all the way off of. Will that do?

That's not going to get me through an interview, or sell my glass, is it?

digitalbodies

The traveler can’t remember the last time they were a traveler. More of an outline now than anything. They watch the shadows and lights go by from buses and trains, quietly witnessing every inch of this vast land, and their connections slowly wear away.

They get around during the day, smiling and slipping by and never forming a real attachment. Cordial laughs dissolve into nothingness. There hasn’t been a destination for a long time. They live to see those dark silhouettes at night, the endless blurs of houses and stores and cars that contain moments of life.

Are they living? They don’t know anymore. This feels right. Maybe other things felt right at one point but this is what they’ve chosen.

~

The doll trembles on the floor, leaning against some piece of furniture in the corner. So many things prick at its senses, but it pushes them aside. Bruises and cracks line its joints, and it’s hard not to shake as it tries to hold itself steady. Voices echo around it, and it can see people talking and smiling somewhere across the room. Occasionally one of them will glance at its greyed eyes and look in curiosity, or pity, or desire.

Its owner must be around somewhere. Tonight it’ll be hurt, or used, or whatever else its owner wants. It hopes they’ll return soon. It gets lonely when it’s left like this, but it knows that this is its purpose.

Is it living? It doesn’t know anymore. This feels right. Maybe other things felt right at one point but this is what it’s chosen.

~

The girl sighs as she exhales under flickering neon, and the smoke is tinted red by the restaurant lights. The parking lot is alone after closing time, and all that's left is cracked pavement and weeds.

Things were fine today. Work was a good pace. Her boss has been talking about giving her a raise. She’s going to go somewhere with some friends tomorrow.

She’s been doing everything right. She goes to sleep on time. She eats three meals a day. She stays ahead on work. She maintains a good social sphere. She moves in autopilot, a pervasive hollowness growing in her chest. She thought if she did this long enough, she’d find her purpose. Met without answers, she metastasizes, carried forward by momentum, dreaming about the other shapes she could’ve taken. Shapes that chose the way they were broken.

Is she living? She doesn’t know anymore. This feels right. Maybe other things felt right at one point but this is what she’s chosen.

Current Mood: awake

weepingcrab

I wanted to kiss him on the nose but I didn't really know how, so instead I would rest my lips gently on the tip of it. His nose looked smooth, but felt a bit rough between my lips. Since then, I've been trying to replicate the feeling; an orange peel, my pilled comforter, a peach pit, rocks between my lips--but nothing feels quite the same.

katriona_s

Summer heat. The temperature and the humidity are both high.

Sometimes my rabbit Krurun relax on the stone bed (the flat stone board). Cute :)

The surface of stone might be a bit cooler than other floor or ground. Our garden cat also likes lying on his stone bed outside of our living room :). Clever boy.

“Why don’t you let me in your air-conditioned room?”

glassy_witch

...and frankly, I wish I had booked a fortnight now.

However, one thing I got to do this week, was to attend a Service Desk Institute event as an invited guest. Wooooo, Billy Big Bananas, me! But yeah, these events cost around the 75 quid mark to attend usually, unless you're a member, and I don't have the annual 700 quid for that. But on this occasion, I was invited, which made me feel terribly special. Admittedly, once there, I felt about as out of place as a fruit bat in a submarine, primarily because I was surrounded by all these terribly enthusiastic people who get to do so much for their teams because, quite simply, there is buy-in from the top of their organisations. I used to feel we had that, but these days, it can be harder to believe. So of course, I felt like I was taking up space I didn't deserve, and I skedaddled early.

However, I did figure out how to make my glass lemon tree stand up, which was a definite improvement, and I even made a sort of Rennie Mackintosh-style stained glass flower which kept me entertained.

But now I need to mentally try and prepare myself to get back to work come Monday. It's so hard to keep a positive faced mask on when you feel quite THIS pointless to the whole affair, but hey. It's got to be done eh?

ofearthandstars

From this week's

thefridayfive:

Who is your best friend? Without a doubt, L., though I suppose this answer is a bit of a cheat. But I like knowing that my partner is my best friend, and I'd like to think that whatever changes come about in our lives, things will always manage to remain that way.
Why did you become friends? We were two awkward ducks in the freshman high school pond. Both unpopular, both entirely too nerdy for our own good, and we shared a lot of common spaces. I have to assume that if someone has seen and stayed with me through my cringey, dramatic, and awkward teen years, they are around for the long haul.
How did you meet? Shared classes in secondary school, but largely because we both rode a "2nd shift" bus home in the afternoons (school district did not have enough buses, so it would conduct one route then return for the second load, leaving a bunch of young people to squander time in the corners of the halls making terrible jokes.) We were among the students whose parents did not pick them up or provide them cars to drive with.
Why have you stayed friends? Ooof, well, as friends, we confided a lot in one another, in ways that are more vulnerable than most. So friendship turned to dating, which, inarguably, was terrible during those years, because of immaturity and selfishness. We broke up when we separated for college, but always kept in touch, because even though there were times we'd hurt each other, we still cared for each other. Later we reconnected, as friends, which eventually turned into a marriage, which is a high stakes way of making sure you stay friends.
How long (realistically) do you think you'll be friends? Oh, I don't know. I can hope for a lifetime, though, can't I?

katriona_s

The temperature AND the humidity are high. I think the worse is the humidity. I went to the office in the morning and came home in the evening, did nothing else, no special thing. Still this just an ordinary routine tired me a lot, it's a bit difficult to think coherently - about anything :(

I heard that in Europe too now in many areas people are suffering with the extremely high temperature. maybe they would be in the similar condition to mine. Now the world climate is losing its sense and we human beings might be losing our sanity... X(

serafaery

had a really nice day with Tyler. Quiet and gentle. I feel better. I would have rather hiked longer but my ankle is still bothering me from a father's day mishap, so maybe gentler is better, I don't know. Might go for an evening bike ride later, forage for some fresh rosemary. I'm out.

While we were up at angel's rest, I pointed out a bird that I thought was a turkey vulture - it's what I see most frequently in the gorge - but as I watched it gently soar by, a little above eye level, I could clearly see with no doubt that it was a juvenile bald eagle. I know these birds intimately now, after watching Gizmo and Sunny on the nest for three months. I could clearly see the eagle's face and body and feathers, there was no mistaking the species. It felt like it was looking at me. But there were also bunnies on the trail so more likely it was watching those, lol. We hiked early as per Tyler's preference - I would rather go later when there are fewer people. It was packed up there. This is the closest gorge hike to Portland, only a 30 minute drive, and parking is free.

I was grateful for the moment with the young eagle. The girls haven't been seen at the lake by the cameras or the locals who've been reporting on them. This is very concerning. Most eagles take 6-12 weeks to disperse. This has only been three weeks since fledging. The same thing has happened with all of Jackie's previous offspring, and all of her fledglings so far have died. I am not an eagle expert, but I know enough to know that they have to live by what's called "kleptoparasitism" for the first year of their lives, as they are not skilled enough to hunt live fish for themselves yet. So they must steal from other birds and scavenge to survive. Watching Sunny with the squirrel three weeks ago, they were nowhere near ready for that kind of life on their own - Jackie had to tear apart the squirrel for her. They need to learn from their parents, starting with collecting fish the parents drop, then stealing from their talons after a catch, etc. I just don't see how they've had time to learn enough of those skills yet.

(Edit - okay the youtube volunteer eagle experts do actually say 3-12 weeks after fledging is typical for dispersal. It still just seems too early, to me.)

I hope they are just exploring and seeing how far they can get on their own before they come back for more help from their parents. Because there are two of them - this is the first time Jackie has had two chicks survive long enough to fledge together - maybe they are emboldened to go a little further, since they have each other for support and reassurance. Supposedly, they sometimes revisit the nest for several weeks or even months after they fledge. Occasionally they will stay in the area for an entire year, I was selfishly hoping this would happen, even though it is so unusual, since the lake is full of fish and there are no other nesting eagle pairs in the area - it seems like a perfect place to scavenge discarded fish from people who are fishing and toss fish back that often don't survive, and also road kill since it is such a developed area. It would be more reassuring to know they had parental guidance for longer. But. Eagles are supposed to be nomadic until they mate, so this is all probably normal and natural and I should not fret so.

Regardless, it was nice to have a moment with a young eagle out in the wild, today.

We also saw bunnies, and ghost pipe.

Tyler shared his birthday treats with me, he wanted to make up for me not celebrating my own birthday in May, even though I reassured him that I didn't want to celebrate and having him at Green Ridge was all the gift I needed. I had some heavenly little tiny doughnuts from Pip's and a couple bites of a red velvet cupcake, and he got me a black rock cold brew with cream and cold foam and it was AMAZING, I had an almond milk latte from a black rock place years ago and it was awful so I didn't know they could make good drinks, but this was lovely. Birthday freebies are fun. :) I gave him a couple little gifts, too. I hope he had as much fun as I did.

keplers_angels

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michaelboy

July 2025

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Page generated Jul. 11th, 2025 07:55 pm

Reading

chore list

it was PMS

Vacation starts now!

The bad end

Cycling on the hill

the bicycle community calls them "collisions."

The northernmost city

zuihitsu attempt #1

cats who have graciously crossed my path

omg I'm totally buggin' - public version

Too hot

Just who am I?

Wishing Star

nose kisses

Stone beds

Just had a week off work...

Friday Five Friend Edition

Days with summer heat

Tyler's birthday

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July 2025

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