I have a fond grade-school memory of the SRA reading labs. The program series consisted of several ’graduations’ of color, where each color represented an increasing level of difficulty to the reading material. I was so interested in reading and writing then. It all felt so fresh in the eighth grade. In high school, my social endeavors became more important than academics. I had so little interest in reading and writing. (four blank years) I went to college. Well, actually I think I just fell into it. It was the "thing to do"; and an opportunity to escape home. I did quite well in math, science and engineering. I considered the language arts (english, writing, foreign language) to be dull and unimportant - afterall I was going to be an engineer and not an english teacher. I was wrong - not wrong about my career choice but in thinking that I didn't need to know how to write effectively. I could smoke weed every day and excel in physics, chemistry and math but I couldn’t write.
The introverted fog I surrounded myself with was my prison rather than my armor.
Now, I feel a twinge of shame for it all. Every word I scratch comes with extra labor. The math, physics,statics and dynamics were not as life-changing as I had imagined and I’m now left holding this odd bag of numerals and squiggly greek symbols.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-29 06:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-01-29 07:46 am (UTC)I find maths and physics to be beautiful in their formalism, though I find they are probably the loneliest subjects to study: whole lot of sitting at your desk alone, drawing circles and contorting your left hand into 90 degree angles. Still, there's nothing more satisfying than deriving an equation from fundamentals.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-29 02:10 pm (UTC)